​Today is Maundy Thursday, which comes before Good Friday and Easter and is observed by Christians. This holiday celebrates Jesus Christ's Last Supper with the apostles. He shared his final Passover with his disciples by washing their feet and passing around bread and wine.

It is always a great reminder to me of pridefulness on my part. Matthew 20:28, He came “not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” The humility expressed by Jesus’ act with the towel and basin foreshadowed His ultimate act of humility and love on the cross. 

Today, we are reminded that we, too, have been placed on the earth as servants. In Titus 1, "Doulos" is a Greek word in the Bible with only one valid historical option for accurate translation into English, which is a slave. It means to be owned by someone for a lifetime. When Paul referred to himself as a "bondservant," it lets you know he expected nothing in return. He would serve his master, "The Lord," without expecting what he could or would do for him. I frequently think when we serve the Lord, we always expect something in return. We may not even realize we have this assumption. Walking through the grief of my daddy, I found this to be accurate of myself. In my heart, in parts I didn't know existed, I truly felt my dad would be healed because he was such a loyal servant, and I was bitter when it did not happen. The truth I now know in my heart and had always had head knowledge of is we aren't promised another hour or minute on this earth no matter what we are doing for the Lord. We aren't serving him for rewards here. The only thing we are promised is an eternal home at the end of our earthly journey, precisely what the Lord provides. May we always remember the serving example of Paul and most importantly, our Savior, as he humbled himself at the feet of his disciples, who were so unworthy, to wash their feet. EVEN the one who would ultimately betray him. 

     Sometimes winter gets a bad reputation. I must admit I am one of those facilitating this bad publicity. I like it to be warm, but not too warm. I am a spring and fall girl.However, there is something genuinely unique about winter; it lays everything bear.Libby and I have been cutting a secret trail in our woods. Normally we could not get to these parts, but because all the leaves were stripped from the trees and briars were somewhat dead, we could see clearly where we wanted to go. Although the green leaves are lush and beautiful, it often hinders us from getting an accurate view of the forest. It also exposes things you would never see in the shrubbery. Hiding behind all the greeneries, many trees had unhealthy branches and trunks. When it’s in full bloom, what the eye sees looks stunning, all while parts of the tree suffer. Isn’t that like our lives? We try to make sure the outside is so pretty, while on the inside, everything’s a mess. I am reminded of Matthew 23.            

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, are full of dead men’s bones and impurity. In the same way, on the outside, you appear to be righteous, but on the inside, you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. We judge the Pharisees, but we are SO much like them. One commentary describes them this way, “In public meetings, the scribes tried to get the most important seats, and they loved the feeling of status when their students greeted them respectfully. They appeared religious with their long prayers, yet they heartlessly took advantage of the poor. They judged others’ sins when they avoided the commandments of God, such as loving one another. Sometimes we need to stop and, like the winter, lay bare our souls before the Lord, so he can expose what is not fruitful and pure.  

The winter seasons can allow us to see what is on the inside. Often we may not like what we see.It has felt a little like winter since my sweet daddy passed. He was such an enormous part of our daily lives. I felt the coldness of winter settle in my heart, feeling God had left the building at times. It was a real challenge and still can be, facing a circumstance that is forever permanent on this earth that I despise. If I’m honest, the enemy was relentless in my ear. (God doesn’t care. He let him die alone. What God separates you from your family while they are sick? Your prayers don’t matter. They weren’t answered. He let him suffer for almost a month is that love, and on and on the enemy tortured me with questions.) But here is a verse I believe more than ever. Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” I had stored up His word in my heart, and when winter came, and my Bible wasn’t open, my mind flowed with scripture every time the enemy came against me. Hymns would flow out of my mouth without me desiring to sing.You see God’s word, no matter how much pain was present, and a sword against the enemy.In this season, he dissected my heart, asking me to look at the faith in ways I had never had to before. I had to ask myself hard questions, eventually growing me tenfold. I had been in ministry and been to seminary, but neither could have produced exponential growth like this event. The key is to fill your store houses before winter comes.   

Winter doesn’t have to be all bad. Libby and I, on our adventure, found a wet weather spring hidden under tons of fallen leaves. When we cleaned it out, you could hear the sound of the little trickling waterfall, which allowed it to run its course to a larger waterfall. We would have never found this little treasure if the forest was not barren from the cold winter. We also found another large boulder we cleared off so we could enjoy the view of the creek from a higher vantage point to soak up God’s splendid creation. You see, winter can bring treasure you never knew before. Winter’s, when assigned to our life, is the time to peer hard at what needs your attention. So, the next time you see a tree with no leaves, be reminded it’s simply a season of inspection so that the spring foliage will be stronger and more picturesque than before.  

Sometimes we find ourselves in places we never thought we would be divorce, illness, infidelity, financial crisis, spiritual crisis, and the list could continue. The question is, where do we turn when we face these life-altering situations?
I am reminded of a lady in the bible in 2 Kings. She was experiencing tremendous loss from the death of her husband. On top of that traumatic experience, someone was trying to take her children away due to her inability to pay family debt. So imagine the emotional stress she was experiencing as a widow and mother. She could have turned to friends and family, but she doesn't; she heads straight for the man of God.
She turns to a prophet, Elisha. "Your servant, my husband, is dead. You know that your servant honored the Lord with fear. But the man whom he owed money has come to take my two children to make them serve him. Elisha said to her, "What can I do for you? Tell me, what do you"have in the house?" And she said, "Your woman servant has nothing in the house except a jar of oil."
She replies she has nothing at first but then haphazardly says a jar of oil. You would think the prophet would have given her money or offered a straightforward solution, but instead, he gave her some bizarre instructions, go and gather empty jars. I wonder what the woman was thinking. No matter, she followed his instructions and sent her sons to collect all the jars they could find. Elisha told the woman to shut the door when she had gathered all the jars. Please take notice this part of the story. Although the woman wasn't aware, this was her only chance to gather jars, which would later translate into how much oil she would have to sell for monetary gain. When she went in and shut the door, she began to pour the oil until the last jar was full.
You see, the thing she thought was insignificant was the answer to her problems. The moment she started pouring was the moment it was multiplied. Sometimes when we face famine in a particular area, we neglect to pour out, which makes us stagnant. You are born with God's gifts, which can't be taken from you; however, our enemy can strongly discourage their use. So when we look at our life, we should never judge something by our standard but by what the Lord has called us to do. Because this woman was faithful and gathered abundantly, she paid her debt and saved her children. Under her control, the jar was simply a jar, but under the Lord's control, it was a saving grace for her family. She not only had enough but abundantly more than she could hope.

My friend shared this picture, which resonated with what I've been studying in my quiet time. Time is a precious commodity because you are only allowed a certain amount, and it's impossible to create any more or get it back once it's gone. You could earn more money if you lose it, recreate fame, and work on your health for more energy, but time is a constant. Time is something you must be willing to exchange as currency for a desired result.

I was listening to one of my favorite Pastors' (Daniels) podcast recently about this subject. He said, "You have people on your payroll making you miserable. What payroll might you say I don't have a business? You pay people in time. People will use your time to accomplish their priorities, not yours. So if you are constantly spending your time on everyone else's demands for your time, what do you have left for yours? Dreams= cost. Improvement =cost. Right relationships=cost. God has given us all the time we need to accomplish His work IF we are good stewards."

Wow, this was such a word for me, personally. While pondering the sermon, I thought about my mind and who I was paying in time. Because ultimately, if we allow people to take up space in our brain that has been unkind or maybe severely wronged us, I am paying them with my time. Even sadder, I would consider the cost negative, for it will not be productive. Generally, playing a situation over and over does not create a benefit but bitterness and burden.

My daughter was telling me a story the other night. In this story, to eventually get to the point, she mentioned that someone didn't like her. I was completely taken aback because we knew the person very well. So my mom's brain started into high gear; what about this and that? Why would they say that? With her very monotone face, she said, "are you really getting upset about this? It's just their view, I've done nothing to them, and it's not like everyone will like you in life. Why would I waste my time caring about what they think? If you are right with God, what else matters. (my Daddy's advice)." And there it was, a fifteen-year-old had out-rationalized her mother. She was absolutely right. Why would we waste a precious commodity, like time, on people who were not rooting for our best life?

We are almost at a new year, and there is no better time to take inventory of what is dominating our time and thoughts. We must establish our priorities based on what God has called us to do. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks you should be doing, as long as you walk in your lane with God. We have to let those people go mentally, which costs us brain time; we have to let people physically go that are sucking away all our energy with their time demands that don't align with God's calling for us.

"Some people can't get clear on their priorities because they are controlled by the judgment of others. We will never live in a state of joy if we don't first become good stewards of our time!"

In Psalms 90:12 David asks the Lord to teach him to number his days. "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

Psalms 31:15 "My time is in your hands....."

John 9:4 "As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work." ​

While waiting to pick Isabella up for practice, Mason and I were fascinated by the bricklayers. They just tossed big bundles up like it was as light as a feather. There was such precision to what they were doing. So just out of curiosity, since this is an enormous gym, we tried to determine how many bricks it would take. We didn't find the exact answer, but an estimate on the average gym was 54-70 thousand bricks.
Why am I even telling you about bricks? God just really stirred it in my heart when I was looking up at all those bricks that they had to start somewhere. If I knew I had to lay 80,000 breaks, I would probably not even want to start. Sometimes in our mind, when we are trying to make a decision, maybe starting a new discipline, dealing with grief, or a big project, we can get overwhelmed easily when we look at it in its entirety. So as my friend would say, "Do the very next thing you HAVE to do, and that's it!"

When my daddy slipped away from this earth, I held his hand. I remember hearing the monitors rhythmically beeping in the background until there was just one solid beep, which signaled to us he was gone. I remember sitting on the floor, and many people were talking to me, but I had no idea what they were saying because they seemed far away. But just like my friend said, I had to make my body do the next thing, somehow drive home. It started there and then moved to the next moment and the next until now it's a year and a half later. I could not have survived if I had thought about large chunks of time, and I still do not think long-term where he's concerned.

Wherever you find yourself today, with grief, significant challenges, new disciplines, or big decisions, remember all things are possible if you concentrate on the next step. You have to start somewhere, but the biggest challenge is just to START!!!!

​
Phillipians 4:19 “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

 Soul Sadness. It’s not a bad day it is not a body ache.  Soul sadness is the emptiness down to your spiritual core. Have you ever experienced a time of soul sadness? I am not talking about a day when you didn’t feel well or when you had a bad day. I am talking about emptiness down to your core. Sometimes in life you are doing what you feel certain God has called you, yet sense you are in a deserted land. Paul became so discouraged he recorded the words “despaired of life.” The Apostle Paul is arguably the most fruitful minister. He was the greatest missionary the world has known. The most accomplished church planter.  He penned two-thirds of the New Testament.  This man, once the greatest persecutors of the early church, became its greatest champion.  Yet, he utters the words "We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers." It doesn't matter how spiritual you are, there will be at least one time in your life, you will feel defeated beyond repair.  Sometimes God cannot be felt because of all of our emotions, but it does not mean He isn't doing a work.
 
What causes you to sometimes to be where God has called you, yet there are no joys of serving, or doing the task He has called you to? I think somewhere along the way you, me, everyone loses spiritual eyes at least occasionally.  At some point, I think we only look through our fleshly vision, and cannot see what God sees.  When we are looking through our fleshy eyes we see problems, disruptions, and one obstacle after another. Our very Soul becomes discouraged, and the devil even tempts us that it’s not worth it.  However, if we take the time to look through our spiritual eyes, we might see it differently.
 
Let’s try to understand it through a story, or parable.  Once a man came to a beautiful meadow with a huge oak tree, dandelions, green grass, and butterflies fluttering through the air.  The scene was exquisite, and the man knew he would visit it often.  A week later the man came back to visit his favorite spot, only to find it had been demolished.  A farmer had plowed over the whole field, and nothing lay there but the bare earth.  The green lush grass was gone; the butterflies and birds had moved on; the man stood with deep disappointment.  How could someone ruin something so spectacular?  The man walked away; however, when he returned he saw a beautiful crop of golden yellow corn.  The birds had returned, and the sun shown brilliantly in the distance.  The man realized when the ground was bare he could not see the vision of the farmer.  What he thought the man had ruined was the preparation for a great harvest.
 
Sometimes in our life we cannot see the vision because we get stuck in all the ruts.  All we see is the bare ground of the day-to-day grime we are facing.  We forget to put on our spiritual glasses and recognize, just maybe, God is laying the ground- work for a great Harvest. It can be in those times of not seeing or feeling Him, that God gives you the greatest gift "clinging ONLY to Him". It often is the only way He can move us from a mindset of thinking we have control, to knowing He is in ultimate control. I know it can be tough at times to do what God has called you to do.  You may to sitting in an office, a classroom, a doctor’s office wondering: God what am I doing here?  What is your plan for me?   The truth is no matter what our job title, we can all loose sight of what we are living for and in essence who we are serving.
 
1 Corinthians 9:
22……….. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
 
One phrase can sum it all up:  I do all this for the sake of the gospel.  If we are doing it for any other reason, we will always be disappointed.  But God has promised, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  I love what New Song sang, “When I can’t see his plan, When I can’t trace his hand, Trust his heart.”  In the end it’s all about our Faith, and learning to trust someone besides our self. If we are currently having trouble seeing what God has planned for us because of all the turmoil caused by life, the verse in Daniel 10:12 should be reassuring for us. “From the first day you set your heart to understand and humbled yourself before your God, your words have been heard.”  How do we regain our spiritual eyes? We do so by setting our hearts upon God.  “set your heart” comes from a Hebrew transliteration “leb” meaning will, the inner man, heart”  It is to intentionally focus on something, and turn toward it.  For instance you do not have a pristine yard by never mowing, fertilizing, or pulling the weeds.  We also will never see through our spiritual eyes if we do not invest time in prayer, bible reading, and meditation on God’s Word.  So I ask you today to set your heart toward God and regain your spiritual sight.

I have always believed the Lord could show up at any place at any time, but honestly I just don’t really expect it a lot of times in my day to day.
I had a conversation with a woman I didn’t know. She simply needed to ask me a few questions about a matter my family needed assistance with concerning our future. When you are dealing with the state I am convinced there are no straight forward answers, or for that matter any answers, but I digress. Anyway the lady asked me several questions and then she asked me a very pointed question about what I wanted to happen in this situation. I thought about her question for a moment, and then I proceeded to give my answer. She listened intently and as I finished, she politely said, “Are you through?” I said, Yes, I guess that about says it all.” She sat quietly for a moment and with no judgement stated, (paraphrasing) “Sweetie that really says nothing at all. I’m not your pastor, your church friends, or anyone in your social group, and I’m certainly not God; but what I do know is that God knows our struggles, our thoughts, and our hardships. So even if we don’t voice them to anyone else, how can we know the answer if we aren’t honest with at least ourselves. After all, He already knows our thoughts. Your answer tells nothing of what your heart feels or desires in this situation, only what you think others want you to feel.” 😳😳😳
So never in my days have I ever had this happen. It was like she was looking into my very soul, though she knew nothing about our journey or the struggles we had faced. Only God in a public, state building could reveal Himself and the truth of His Word. I am a firm believer that the Lord showed up in that office to make a point. We are to seek after Him with every fiber in our body, so we will know the truth, and the truth will set us free!

Sometimes fear can grip us and refuse to let go. It can paralyze our day, and rob us of peace. If left unattended it can create some very significant problems in our life. It can lead to sickness, unrealized plans the Lord has for us, and a lack of joy.
In 1 Kings we see a story of fear, but also of hope!
19 Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely,if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”3 Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.
All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 6 He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.7 The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.”
I love these verses so much because the Lord did not reprimand him for being afraid, or for running. God simply met him where he was and ministered to his needs. When God was finished ministering to his soul, he was able to walk 40 days and 40 nights, when just a short while ago he was unable to stand. May we always remember to cry out to the Lord so he can be the peace that passes all understanding, and the unending strength that we need!

I love flowers and gardening.  In fact I just love nature all together.  It helps remind me of the fascinating world God has orchestrated.  How He made the bees to distribute pollen to help the flowers and trees find new population.  How the rain nourishes the crops, and the crops in return sustain our bodies. The cycle of life goes on and on, and is far too numerous to name.  However, today I would like to concentrate on a specific flower, the hydrangea.  These flowers can come in different colors, however, many people do not realize you can influence the color of the plant.  Based on the pH of the soil the plant can take on different colors.  If the soil is more acidic you get deep blue/silver colors.  The more alkaline the soil the pinker the flowers. "Hydrangea blue" is not a hue that belongs to any other thing in the world.  It is a breathe taking silver, blue that radiates its beauty in every scene of nature. 

So how would one go about making this flower blossom into this beautiful color- actually it is as simple as coffee grounds. By simply putting small amounts of coffee grounds (or other organic material) into the soil. As the material decomposes, the organic materials will add aluminum to the soil (making it more acidic).  This process will not take place over night, but slowly the changes will start to occur.  The plants then slowly start to show signs of the new brilliant color.  Finally, over time they will be transformed into the "Hydrangea blue" you were awaiting.

Now that you have had your science lesson I guess the question is how is this relevant? Well I am glad you asked.  Christians are so much like the hydrangea concerning the spiritual walk.  You can be influenced greatly by the things that are around you, whether it be positive or negative.  What soil are you growing in today?  Is it one of negativity and despair, or one of gratitude and thankfulness.  What nutrients are you feeding your soul? Is it the word of God that is infallible and Holy, or the truth the world would have you believe?  Everyday is a chance to build yourself up to grow the way God intended you to, but there is also an equal opportunity to flounder in the twist and turns of life. You must be willing to continually feed on the Word of God, and put it into action in your life.  You see if the coffee grounds sat on the shelf beside the the plant, they would have zero effect on it's color, but when mixed in the soil they begin to produce beautiful results.  The same is true about God'S Word. Its not enough to read or hear God's word, it has to be poured into every nook and cranny of your life. You have to be submissive to God in every facet. Certain areas cannot be boxed off, but have to be willing to die to self, in order to allow an amazing transformation. I encourage you today to look at what is being poured into your life. Then figure out what is producing deep change, and what needs to be thrown away. Only allow those things which deeply grow your character and love for others to remain.  

1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Philippians 4:8 whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

​As I was watering my flowers, I had some that were less than dazzling. I thought what could be wrong? They were new flowers, and I had watered them everyday. I had put new, thick pine straw down to keep the weeds out. As I was thinking it came to me,  I might not be watering them long enough. The thick bedding of pine straw could be keeping the water from penetrating the ground and soaking deeply into the roots. 
The Lord spoke to me through that observation. We can’t just do a verse a day to keep the devil a way kind of thing. In order for God’s word to penetrate deeply into our hearts, and actually change our actions, we have to spend significant time in prayer and the Word.  You see when I was watering the plants it was surface water only. It would probably be enough to keep the flower alive, but definitely not enough to make them thrive. Sometimes we are guilty of surface religion. We come into church say and do the right things, listen to the pastor, maybe even give our money, but the whole time our heart is buried under thick layers of pride, sin, and apathy.  God’s Word is not leaving a seared mark on our heart because it never reached those depths. When we really allow God to penetrate our heart it is extremely painful at times, because it forces us to look inside ourselves.  It reminds me of the verse “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”  The Lord  longs for His children to dig deep into His word, allowing deep roots and a thriving spirit to unfold.
Are you spending enough time with the Father? Are you allowing His Word to penetrate so deeply that you cannot act in any other way? Maybe you have acted in a way not profitable to the kingdom, but because you are so rooted God would not let go of your heart until you made it right. This is a true, healthy, abiding relationship with the Father. Allow your roots to be refreshed and renewed today by diving into the refreshing pool of the Word.