Grief is a time when our heart endures a trauma. There are many different things that can cause grief, such as broken relationships, the death of a loved one, betrayal, loss of a job, loss of health, a wayward child, infertility--the list could go on and on. Sometimes when people are grieving for any reason it makes us very uncomfortable. Maybe even so uncomfortable we choose not to be around at all. The truth is we do not have to be overwhelmed when trying to minster to people. Many times it is simply our presence, compassion, and concern that steady their hearts. Recently we lost my mother-in-law suddenly to a heart attack. As I look back over this time, there are a couple people that stand out in my mind. One is my sister-in-law’s pastor, Bro. Steve. He was there shortly after we arrived. He of course spoke to us when he came in and may have led us in a short prayer. However, during the moments that followed, he just sat quietly being present with us. Two others also stand out: Mike and Matt, lifelong friends of Chad and Shane. They arrived about 9pm and sat with us in the waiting room until the wee hours of the morning. They did not bring scriptures to quote or answers for our questions but simply their love in their presence. Sometimes in a situation someone's presence can mean more than a thousand words. I think it is human nature to try to immediately make it better. The truth is we cannot. Sometimes we try to push people to be ok so it doesn't make us feel awkward. I told Chad, "You do not have to be ok for everyone else. Grieve at your own pace and do what is best for you, not those around you." Recently I read something that said, "Grief never ends....but it changes. It is a passage not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith.... it is truly the price of love!" Nicole Vaughn shared this song and I was intrigued by it so I looked up the back story. I have included both the song and the story. It is just a simple reminder to those grieving that it is acceptable to not feel like everything is ok, and there is not a set time limit. And to the ones who minister, it is a reminder that your willingness to be present is often worth more than words!
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